How to make a visitor to your website leave within 10 seconds.Or 10 things that will make sure your website is a disaster.

Warning: Acerbic criticism and sporadic vitriol ahead. Continue reading at your own risk.
  1. Keep showing popups - sales pitches, scratch cards, anything that'll help make your website look spammy.
  2. Block content and rudely keep insisting on signing up for a newsletter or something similar designed to capture data and haunt the poor soul later through emails and text messages. Don't give them a chance to take a look around and decide for themselves if they really want to hear from you. 
  3. Have a ton of pictures on the homepage and make your website take forever to load. Never ever use vector graphics. Just uncompressed, huge high-res images.
  4. Have a flash intro that'll need a lot of bandwidth and take a really long time to load. Add some loud music to assault more senses. (oh, there's more good news - Google penalizes websites that load slowly- so yes, this is a good way to decrease the ranking of your website, if there is any in the first place). 
  5. Don't tell them upfront what is your site about. Hide your elevator pitch somewhere deep down in the website. Or, don't have one at all, Anywhere. 
  6. Use the least contrast and make your text near impossible to read - think white over light blue, grey over brown etc. You can enhance this visual appeal by making the font small as well- anything below size 10 will work wonders. 
  7. Have a bad UI. Make it difficult for people to find anything. Have fancy names for the standard pages like About and Contact Us. 
  8. Take it social. Have a moving social plugin that'll move with the page and won't let the reader see anything. 
  9. Did all the above fail? OK then, talk about yourself and show them page after page of jargon filled self-praise. Make sure there's no useful information for the reader, or how your product or service makes any difference. A simple trick to achieve this - start every sentence with "We". After all, the people reading your website love you unconditionally and would gush over anything that you do, the way a mother gushes over her newborn. There's nothing that gives them more happiness than reading up about all the wonderful things that you imagine yourself to be. 
  10. Want to make this better? Have a founders message, with an old, constipated face right on the homepage. Ramble about some vague 'mission' and 'vision'. You don't even have to write this. Just copy something online, and replace some words and the name. Or not. Trust me you, people will be so enchanted (bored brain-dead) that they'll never notice. 
Did I miss anything? What's the most irritating thing that you find on websites?

PS: If you have found websites like the ones mentioned above irritating, and don't want yours to be one such, get in touch with me. It's not a bad thing to make mistakes, everyone makes them. It's the courage to course-correct that counts.

3 steps to choose a name for your business or project.

How to name a business or project - 3 simple and essential steps. 

  1. First think of the core spirit behind the business/project/initiative and what you want to do/achieve with it. 
  2. Write down a bunch of words that come to your mind. 
  3. After that, brainstorm combinations with people involved. Get creative, use ethnic words too. 

how to name your business, how to name a project
A unique and creative name gets you more attention and increases recall value. 

From this point, the naming process becomes art and creation. A creative name does run the risk of having an unwanted meaning in a different language. Or a negative connotation. Test the name before launching to a larger audience. Large companies spend good money on testing this out, but you can at least check with your online friends and groups.

As a last step, check out if the domain name is available before you zero-in on the name, especially if the initiative is going to have its own website.

Hope this article has helped you in naming your brand new business/ project. All the best! 

Found this article helpful? Have any points to add? Please comment.